Expat Hierarchy of Needs
I’ve been an expat for the last 16 years. In other words, I have lived outside of my home country almost longer than I lived in it. And I’m not alone. According to a 2014 study, there are over an estimated 50 million of us expats calling foreign lands home. That’s over 0.7% of the total global population.
To put it into perspective, that’s more than the entire population of South Korea – bumbling about the world just trying to fit in as best we can.
In a few months I will relocate to my third foreign country in 16 years. You would think I’d be used to it by now: adjusting to a new way of life, language, sights, sounds and television dramas. But it never gets any easier.
So the other day, while I was preparing to hand in my resignation at my current job, I started wondering why relocating is so difficult. Most of us would like to think we would treat this opportunity as a once-in-a-lifetime chance to reinvent ourselves and rejuvenate our often complacent lives. So why do even the most seasoned of travelers occasionally struggle?
That brought me back to one of the few things I recall from my one semester of undergraduate psychology classes (save for the the odd Freudianism): Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
According to Maslow, everything we do – literally everything - is motivated by the desire to meet certain needs. Once one need is met, we progress to the next need and continue until we have met all our needs and achieve “self-actualization”.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.
These needs are:
1. Biological and physiological needs: air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep.
2. Safety needs: protection from elements, security, order, stability, freedom from fear.
3. Love and belongingness needs: friendship, intimacy, affection and love.
4. Esteem needs: achievement, independence, self-respect, respect from others.
5. Self-actualization needs: realizing potential, self-fulfillment, growth.
After refreshing my memory (thanks to the Wikipedia’s colorful diagram), it hit me:
When we move to a new country, we have to obtain these needs all over again.
If you don’t know the land, culture, language, or have any friends there willing to give you a hand, these needs can be extremely hard to meet.
"What does this have to do with expats?" you ask? Indulge me further:
1. Biological and physiological needs
Sure, most of us have access to at least these basic needs. But the food, drink, shelter, and even the air could be very different to what we’re used to. In this case, it’s not about not having it, but adjusting your palate or thermoregulation to your new surroundings. This can take time and, in the early stages, can sometimes be difficult to achieve.
In my first few days in Switzerland, I didn’t speak a word of Swiss German (apparently just speaking boring old "normal" German just didn't cut it around these parts), making obtaining these essentials an anxiety-riddled adventure in itself.
2. Safety needs
Safety is always a concern when traveling to new places. Knowing where to not to go to is definitely not something you want to learn through trial and error.
As for order and stability, I’ve spent the last three years living in Switzerland. The Swiss are the only nation to make the Germans look inefficient and unorganized. However, once I’ve experienced the well-oiled machine that is Swiss society, can I really go back to what I can only imagine is pure, fire-from-the-sky chaos!?
3. Love and belongingness needs
The feeling of belonging can be one of the most elusive for the expat. Language barriers or even outward appearances can make you stand apart from the crowd, drawing both positive and negative attention.
And when you get stuff like this in the mail, even after living in the country for a few years it can remind you that perhaps your presence isn’t appreciated by necessarily everyone in your host country:
4. Esteem needs:
"What about independence?" you ask? Forget about it. You’re relying on any friendly locals, guidebooks, or work colleagues you can get your hands on to help you navigate your way through your new surroundings.
When I first arrived in Switzerland, I struggled to even order a coffee as I strained to perfect my Zurich-Schwiizertüütsch accent (which, despite not being the official language, is definitely the preferred language by those with whom you must interact everyday).
5. Self-Actualization needs
Without achieving the previous four steps, it’s not going to be easy to realize your personal potential and achieve self-fulfillment. So that’s a bit of a downer.
If Maslow is right, and in order to feel happy we must meet certain needs, then it could certainly explain why relocating to new lands can make even the most seasoned traveler feel…well… a little bit lost abroad. (See what I did there!? BOOM!)
I was discussing my Expat Hierarchy theory with friends at a BBQ recently in an attempt to sound smart (which wasn’t easy with a face full of BBQ sauce as I only later discovered). As I spoke, I surveyed my guests: Brazilian, Peruvian, British, French, Italian, Irish, Spanish, Danish and American. There was not a Swissie in sight. And we were all speaking English, in a German-speaking city.
That's right, Doc!
Like barnacles on a ship, we group together to form a large protected cluster so as to survive these unchartered waters through foreign, occasionally hostile lands. We create our sense of “home” through meeting together, going to Irish bars, speaking English, and staying up until stupid-o’clock to watch the Super Bowl (probably at the same aforementioned Irish bar). It’s how we feel safe, respected - it’s how we obtain that crucial yet elusive feeling of belonging and eventually attain self-actualization.
But in doing this, we automatically exclude ourselves from fully integrating into our host society. New language hard? Stick with English. The television is weird? Watch Netflix. The food tastes different? Pasta. Every single night.
But… if we stick with what we know, then it’s only inevitable that our lives will be complacent once again, and so the cycle of packing up and relocating continues.
How do you overcome these obstacles to better integrate into your host societies while at the same time create a sense of feeling comfortable, welcome and belonging?
I’d love to hear from you!
